Commitment: Look who's talking!!

I thought I would take a few minutes today to write about commitment. The interesting thing is I am talking about commitment and if you look at my history of posting blogs, it doesn't reflect a lot of commitment. I think even one of them talks about posting more and BEING committed and I, apparently, have not followed up with that. I am, once again, on a quest to be committed. I am committed to building my business, I am committed to building my online presence, I am committed to growing my visibility, I am committed to growing my referral network. But it is all talk if I don't take action.

I was talking to my coach yesterday about commitment. She asked me to rattle off 10 words off the top of my head that mean commitment.

You should realize, I don't think like most people. My mind tends to go off the beaten path. You might even say it tends to have a mind of it's own. Chew on that one for a few seconds. For example, a couple of weeks ago, she asked me to rattle off 10 words that came to mind when I thought of safety. They were:

• Red
• Fire Extinguisher
• Fireman
• Blue
• Corset
• Daffodil
• Corvette
• Rail
• Ladder

Okay, so that is only 9 words, but that is not the point. So how do these words relate to safety. I can't really say for certain about some of the words, but the interesting thing was that less then 2 hours after this coaching session, I was standing across the street in one of my neighbors driveway watching the house 2 doors down from mine burning up. In front of me, I saw Red, Fire Extinguisher, Fireman, Rail and Ladder. Coincidence? I don't think so, but I did not tap into enough during that session to realize that the words that were coming to me were about an event that was about to happen. It didn't occur to me in the slightest that I was foreseeing a fire that was about to happen in my neighborhood.

And does corset apply here? I wondered about the firemen's harness or gear and if it had any corset-like qualities. I also wondered if corset and corvette were related and I accidentally grabbed one while feeling for the other. When corset came, I was still reaching and was not sure of the word that I was feeling. Maybe it was supposed to be corvette. Maybe they were totally unrelated. I generally don't try to relate my thoughts and ideas to people sometimes because they are so disjointed and seem so non-sequitur-ish, (non-sequitur-ish?!?), that people are really challenged in trying to follow me. I spare them their confusion and my frustration in trying to explain and communicate my thoughts. My coach seems to like when I go straight into my cerebral melting pot and pull up anything that sticks to the ladle. Hopefully, that will give you some idea of how my brain operates.

So anyways, we were talking about commitment, weren't we? So this week she asked me to rattle off 10 word of the top of my head that meant commitment. They were:

• Pink
• Orange (the color)
• Orange (the fruit)
• I-Beam
• Tonka Dump Truck
• Flower (not daffodil)
• Rose (deep blue)
• Steele
• Tether
• Binding or Bonding
• A strap or straplike
• Tooling leather (brown, not black)
• Glass - see through - it is not hidden

And these actually showed up more as images than words. That is another problem I have, (or could it be a blessing?). More often than not, I get impressions and images as opposed to words in my head. And sometimes I can't find the words to go with the images or impressions. This can make it a little hard to communicate to people what is going on in my head. (The coach in me would ask how does that make it EASY to communicate to people what is going on in my head?)

So anyway, that was more than 10. We both, at some point, felt like there was a reference to jail here. Actually, I was thinking it and then she said it. Things seem very "concrete" here. I realized that I don't really have a fear of commitment itself, but my fear is committing to something only to later find out that I do not have the resources or the support to follow through or fulfill the commitment.

I have heard many women talk about men's fear of commitment. I wonder if this might be why. Perhaps men feel that if they marry, they are entering a commitment where they may not feel they will have the resources or support to fulfill the commitment. They might still be feeling the full responsibility of being the sole provider and bread winner. Although society is much more open to women having a salary and making a good living, men may still be assuming the full financial responsibility in their minds, whether they are conscious of it or not. And they may feel that the woman is expecting that, as well. In a world where a dual income is pretty much a must for any family, that could cause reason for fear of commitment. Have we given men permission to feel like they can expect their spouse to fully share in supporting the family? Just a thought.

I had no intention of addressing relationship issues when I started this post. In fact, if you haven't noticed, I have been just kind of riffing away. 

I think my strongest addiction has been to caffeine. Either that or sugar. Never cigarettes, never drugs, never booze. But I have heard addicts say that they need to recommit every day. Some say they need to recommit even more often than that, every hour, every minute. So that is where I am at. I think I had said it before, but I am saying it again. I hope to be posting more frequently. And feel free to comment away. I know that more interaction with readers will keep me more engaged. So let me know what you think. And to what are YOU truly committed? And what does it mean TO YOU to be committed?

Take care!

And remember, Your Possibilities are ENDLESS!

Tom Maher, CPCC
The Possibilities Coach
Life Coaching for Musicians and Performing Artists
www.EPCoachTom.com
Tom@EPCoachTom.com

Comments

[Assignments]

I liked this post very much as it has helped me a lot in my research and is quite interesting as well. Thank you for sharing this information with us.

[Tom]

Thanks! I appreciate the feedback!